But there are science-backed ways to create closure for yourself. — I changed my mind at least a dozen times. Do I want to see him or do I not? What would I even want him to say? I knew our relationship was over and with the amount of hurt that had built up, there was really no point in seeing…

Your anxious mind prevents you from living — They say that the top three stressors in life are death, divorce, and moving. We sold our home recently and bought another house a few miles away. It took many months and endless showings before our house finally sold. Before every house showing, we gathered the pets, tidied up and…

The world needs you at your best. — It’s time to admit you’re jealous. Most people deny it, but when everyone around you seems to have life all figured out, how can you not feel envy in your gut? You’re hard-working, but you don’t make progress. Nothing worthwhile comes easy, but you forget to work smart as well…

Differences in parenting between Sri Lanka and the UK — I have left my children in Sri Lanka which means they’re down to zero parents now. But they’re not. They’re with two sets of grandparents and one set of great-grandparents and two maids and a cook and a driver and two guards that follow them while they pretend to walk…

Facing survivor’s guilt, finding redemption, and learning to embrace life after the ultimate sacrifice — Kyle was supposed to be the writer, not me. My mom often referred to Kyle as her “third son” when introducing him to family friends because he would visit my parents even when I wasn’t home. The minute he walked in the door to my childhood home, he would drop…

On the myth of ‘man the protector’ and why it’s about time we retired it — At a New Year’s Eve party many years ago, a man approached me from behind, groped me and then slapped my ass so hard I screamed in pain before he callously walked away. That man was a good friend of my boyfriend at the time. And this actually happened right…

Lessons from life, and cancer — You’re supposed to learn from life-changing events. Somehow, through the furnace of accidental trials that is life, the reward is supposed to be life lessons. Or money, success and power if you believe some folks. …

I Hate To Break This to You, But Our Civilization’s Having a Democratic Implosion — Look at the chart. See the light blue dip? Right at the end? That’s implosion. What should we expect from our future? Will things ever…get better? One of the great trends sweeping the world today is the sudden, rapid decline of democracy. And it’s hard to put into words just…

A visceral, contradictory sensation. We need to do more to help new moms. — Think back to the happiest day of your life. The colors seemed brighter, didn’t they? Postpartum depression: It’s the happiest day of your life, but instead of the colors seeming brighter, they’re black and heavy. This dichotomy is the pain that is PPD. You want, so desperately, to be happy…

There’s nothing wrong with quitting. — A famous author walked up and introduced himself. I wanted to say, “I know who you are.” I wanted to remind him that I’d interviewed him three different times, in person. I’d been to his house. I’d reviewed his first book, back when he was a nobody. I’d reviewed every…

Bringing a new life into the world is messy, yet we hardly hear about that in our society. — Trigger Warning: This article discusses the damaging effects of childbirth. Please engage in self-care as you read this article. I thought I’d have a perfect bonding moment after giving birth to my son. Instead, I was in immense pain, bleeding on big, white pads held with mesh underwear. That lasted…

Yesterday I scrolled through my Facebook feed that I never use and saw countless “reels” of scantily clad women pop up.

Someone’s life may depend on what you say next. — “The bravest thing I ever did was continuing my life when I wanted to die.” ― Juliette Lewis As a police officer, I’ve tried to comfort people suffering from severe mental illness. I had to show I was trying to understand, that I cared and might be able to help. …

Start building foundations when you’re young. — Most people squander their youth. They don’t know what they want from life, and at peak physical and mental health, they waste time drinking, chasing dates, and spending tons of (borrowed) cash. Then, in the blink of an eye, they hit 40 and wish they had laid the foundations for…

“Is something wrong?” James asked. I blinked at him. “What?” “I dunno, you just seem quiet today.” “No, I’m fine.” It’s just that we’re all going to die a miserable death in the near future, but other than that I’m fine. Of course, I didn’t say those words out loud…

Never underestimate what people will do for sex, money, or power. — I remember tearing through the city, blue lights and sirens roaring, traffic moving out of my way, and thinking, “life doesn’t get any better than this.” I saw myself doing that forever. Life didn’t work out that way, and my dreams were cut short when I was diagnosed with PTSD…

A new era needs new proverbs — Advice is one of those tricky, sticky things that almost never serves its intended purpose but influences us all the same. …

The path to build a healing world in the shell of the unhealed — My favorite place in town is a Superfund site. Last summer, I’d ride my bike past it all the time, surprised to see such a large open stretch of field and trees in a rapidly-gentrifying neighborhood in a town with a dire housing crisis. The gate on the chain link…

I don’t think so. — Greenhouse gas emissions keep going up. In fact, they’re going up even faster than they were ten years ago. Despite all the optimism and all the promises, we’re not heading in the right direction. We’re not replacing fossil fuels with green energy. We’re stacking it on top of everything else…

On the lie of friendship — When my mom died, I didn’t want condolences. I didn’t want cards. I didn’t want phone calls. I didn’t want to stand around listening to everyone else talk about how much they missed their moms. I didn’t want to talk about it with anyone. I wanted to be left alone. …